J Patrick + Associates Blog

5 Common Networking Mistakes To Avoid

Posted by Daniel Sullivan on Tue, Oct 01, 2013 @ 10:00 AM

5 Common Networking Mistakes To Avoid

networking mistakes

Andy Lopata.  I hadn’t actually heard of him before but apparently he’s known as Mr Networker by the Sun.  I liked what he went on about as it seemed very aligned with our thinking here and what I have learned through working with Simon and also what I have observed and learned through my own experiences.   The points outlined below aren’t just a regurgitation of what I heard from this talk.  The talk spurred me on to think about this topic and in this article is what is occurring to me now.

Networking has been quite a ‘hot’ topic recently and seems to be the ‘thing to do’.  Everyone is doing it!  I thought that it might be useful to jot down a few learnings and observations of what feel like pretty common networking mistakes made when building connections:


Attending a networking event and ‘selling’

Ok, so when we ‘network’ –many of us have the underlying agenda where we are after something.  Usually we want the people we meet to help us in some way.  We are after a promotion, a new job, some insight and inspiration on what to do next and so on.  We would like the people we meet to help us in our career and lives.  This is fair enough - however, going to a networking event and spending all of your time trying to ‘sell’ yourself or whatever your company offers isn’t particularly useful.  How many people are there to ‘buy’?  None right? So don’t sell!  Go there to get to know the people around you.  Don’t shove your life story or current major problem or need in their faces.  They don’t know you yet so they aren’t going to help you if you just ‘sell sell sell’. No-one likes a salesperson – so don’t be one.


Collecting numbers

Networking is not about the number of contacts you have.  Do you have 5000 facebook contacts? 6000 linkedIn connections? Maybe a couple million business cards and a few zillion email contacts?  Is that good networking? Nope! Networking is not about collecting up the largest number of names you can get.  That’s not going to help you.  Maybe you have the biggest database of names and contacts in the world.  However – that isn’t of any use to you unless these people are going to help you when you drop them a line.  When push comes to shove and you ask them for help – what will happen?  Will they remember you? Will they care? Or are you just another number in their database?  Networking well and building up useful connections is all about really knowing the people in your network and them knowing you.  People only want to help you if they know you, trust you, respect you.  If you are just a number – you mean nothing.  If they are just a number – what’s the point?


Not Being Genuine

Too many times have I seen people try to talk to me or get in contact with me simply to ‘network’.  I get several invitations on LinkedIn each day from people wanting to ‘widen their network’.  If I join their network – then what?  Will we become good mates and help each other out?  Do they know me? In some cases maybe there is something genuine there – but in most cases I’m thinking not.    Now - what about meeting and greeting people.  Well if you’re being genuinely interested in getting to know the people around you – then you are more likely to build a useful connection and grow your network effectively.  If you are simply building a network superficially so that you can call on them when you want something and you don’t really care about them as individual, unique, talented people – they’ll suss that out and not really like you for it.  There was a guy I knew at Uni.  He graduated, became a big banker, joined some hedge fund and went off and became a big ‘networker’.  He rings you and contacts you if you are deemed ‘useful’ to him.  That is seriously self-centered, superficial and – not genuine.  Thus – can he contact me for help if he wanted it? Nope.  He is not a part of my ‘network’ – because I don’t believe in that approach.  So if you want to meet people and network – that’s absolutely fine – but do it authentically and genuinely. 


Dismissing the network you already have

We all have a network ready and waiting for us before we even start going out to ‘network’ and grow it.  It’s a common occurrence to forget about the people who we already know.  At school, university, through friends, family, extended family, friends of friends, work – through each of your jobs – you have met many very interesting and talented people – all of whom will have a different take on life and their careers.  Their experiences and interests will be varied and vast.  It can be very easy not to realize just how many people we really know or just how valuable our network actually is.  Maybe you know or have come across many people but you do not really ‘know’ them.  Why not spend some time getting to know them. Dig deeper. Find out what makes them tick – what experiences they have had, what they have done in their careers, who they hang out with, who their mates, family, friends are.  You are closer to getting what you want and meeting whoever you need – than you think.  Your mates brother, dad, second cousin, next door neighbor - could be just the person who could help you.  So – do not dismiss or forget about the people you already know. Get closer to the network you already have.  Form deeper relationships with them and you never know who you may come across.


Give to get and remember it’s not all about you

People want to help those who help others.  Or – people want to help those who help them!  So if you just take, take, take – you won’t continue getting for long! Don’t make the mistake of just calling people up when you need something.  Also don’t make the mistake of expecting those you ‘network’ with you give you whatever you want, when you want. It’s not all about you!  If you spend all of your time with others – talking about what’s on your mind – what you need, what you’re after, how they can help you, what you care about – it’s a one sided, pretty boring story!  It should be a 2-way thing.  Offer to help wherever you can.  Be genuine about it – and you never know what will evolve from that.  Try it and see!  If you offer up a useful contact and help someone out – they will be grateful, remember you for it and respect you.  They will remember that you are a great person to know and that you can help each other out.

Tags: Social Media, Networking, Job Interviews, Resume Optimization